I don’t know how to put this into words, but here we are.
My words are directed to no one specifically.
I’ve been away from this blog for way too long. I know I (or, Kyoma) have assured people that I would come back with this muse. I’ve put it on the fact that my real life was draining me (trust me, it does), my energy and my will to log in.
Truth is, the more time passes, the more I drift away from this muse. I no longer have that spark that I had when I first played him, years ago. He has been an amazing muse, my first muse when I started role playing on Tumblr. I’ve had my first threads, my first friends, my first dramas with him. I kept playing with him when he still was in RevleZ, when the band disbanded, when he had no project until late 2016.
It makes me sad to think about it, to ever think it was possible… But I’ve even lost interest in the artist himself. I am not as hyped as I was with him. At the point that I even came to find him annoying. I can’t forgive myself for thinking this way, but… I do.
NIL UNDER RAIN is a recent band. I’m waiting for them to eventually grow on me, and who knows, maybe my feelings for Kyoma will change someday.
I’ve found many other reasons as in why I don’t want to come here. I will keep them for myself and people I’ve discussed this with too.
Hence why I’m putting him on undetermined hiatus. I’m still deeply attached to him, as a muse (his personality, his relationships, all of this cannot be erased), I don’t want to delete the blog. I want to keep the memories I’ve had with him. I don’t want to put an end to him.
From now on I will, as a mun, focus on my “new” main muse (for people who know me, they know who he is) and the other one I’ve got. Feel free to hit me up if any of you need to know something.
See you soon, maybe!
Thank you for those wonderful 5 years putting up with him (and me).
I love you.
